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March 15th 2020

"So, now we know what it’s all about: it’s an excuse for the Government to declare war on the elderly. And the first move in that war is to imprison and isolate everyone over 70. Whether we like it or not we oldies are going to be locked in for our own good. (It’s always for our own good, isn’t it?) We are going to be locked in for ‘just’ four months. But perhaps longer. Maybe permanently. But it’s not really for our sake, is it? They don’t give a stuff if we live or die."

"They would never dare tell any other group of people that they had to stay in their homes. There would be huge rows and much talk about human rights. But no one gives a damn about the elderly. We’re regarded as a useless burden. We’ve served our purpose, worked and paid taxes, and now we can fade away. We voted to leave the EU and so we must be punished. Dump the old folks on the hillsides and let them quietly die and rot. In reality, this blatant act of age discrimination has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the disease. There are 50-year-olds with respiratory disease who would die if they got within a hundred yards of any flu infection and there are 90-year-olds who run marathons faster than anyone in the Cabinet could open a bottle of gin. They’re not locking us in to protect us. They don’t give a toss if we live or die. They are locking us in to deny us access to the NHS we paid for. They’re locking up the elderly because they can and because we’re considered a liability and a bloody nuisance. We get locked in our own homes. No visitors. No contact with the outside world. Ignored and forgotten. They say we will get our food supplies left on our doorsteps lest we get to see a person and say ‘hello’. That’s nice of them. Who, pray is going to do all the delivering? Our local supermarkets are already unable to cope with the demand for home deliveries. Volunteers? Don’t make me laugh. Most of the volunteering in Britain is done by old folk and they’re all going to be locked in. What are we supposed to do if a delivery does come? Pop out and grab our allocated groceries off the step before they are stolen or soaked in the rain? There will probably be no plastic bags; just a loose pile of groceries sitting there, amidst the dead leaves and the dog-shit, for us to pick up and drag into our homes. Solitary joys will be provided by daytime television. If it’s anywhere near as bad as it was when I was a regular ‘performer’ the days will drag for those who tune in. We won’t be allowed to go out to the post box. Those without phones won’t be allowed out to use the phone box. We won’t be allowed to put out our rubbish because that would mean leaving the house and venturing out into the world. If there are several people living in a house, and one of them is over 70, then they will all be locked in otherwise the rule doesn’t make any sense. How many families will survive being locked up for months and months? They’ve already told us oldies that we will be denied NHS care. And there won’t be any private care because the NHS has bought up all the private beds. We don’t qualify for being tested to see if we are infected because we’re too old to matter. (The testing is meaningless, by the way. Just because you test ‘negative’ on Tuesday doesn’t mean that you won’t test ‘positive’ on Wednesday.) Some GPs, who will be too busy filling in notifiable disease forms to waste their valuable time on patients, say they won’t visit old people. If we fall ill and collapse then we’ll be left to die and slowly rot. I wonder if undertakers will be allowed in to collect us. I’m so glad I paid my taxes for more than half a century. The millennials, who have paid little, are the lucky but undeserving recipients of my largesse."

"If we dare to step outside our homes we will doubtless be arrested. The world is full of snitches these days. The people who have cameras on their car dashboards will be eager to tell the authorities that the old woman at No 14 has just slipped out in her slippers and hobbled home with fresh bread, a bottle of stout and a jumbo sized packet of aspirin tablets. The poor old sod at no 27 who takes his dog for a brief walk at 1.00 a.m. will be dobbed in too. I wonder if they’ll arrest poor Fido too. The police don’t have time to arrest burglars or muggers but I bet they’ll find the time to arrest the rebellious old folk who venture out of doors – even if they are taking the dog for a walk or buying in a little food. As it happens, I don’t much mind staying in. We have plenty of books and DVDs. Antoinette and I can both keep busy and amuse ourselves. But I want to stay in because I want to stay in and not because some patronising, bullying, heavy-booted fascist bastards in London tell me I have to stay in. And I have many reasons why I will need to go out. The shops and cafes will be closed but I need to see the dentist. I need to visit the optician. I need to visit the bank occasionally to pay in cheques and pay bills. I will, presumably, be denied access to these essential services. Murderers get to see a dentist and an optician. But not the over 70s. I shall want to buy a birthday card for my wife. And, if there are any shops still open, a present too. Far more importantly, Antoinette (who has breast cancer) needs a mammogram soon (if the NHS has abandoned its collective impersonation of a bunch of headless chickens and is still doing mammograms). She needs to have her B12 injections. She needs to visit the physiotherapist. She has to pick up supplies of her tamoxifen. If Boris and Co think I’m letting her go to the hospital by herself they’re pottier than I think they are. And if we don’t drive the car then the battery will be dead and the engine will seize up. Locking us all in our homes for the solitary sin of being old is something new. However, in the words of the great and immortal Patrick McGoohan, I am not a prisoner or a number. I will take Antoinette to her hospital appointments if hospitals are open. I will go to the dentist if dentists are open. I will do what needs to be done. I will decide for myself how I will live my life. What are they going to do if we all ignored the law? There’s a problem the bastards haven’t thought of. What will they do with their prisoners? Shackle them? Put them in prison? Fit them with those ankle bracelets used for criminals and terrorists? We can’t go to court if we’re arrested and charged because we aren’t allowed to leave our homes."

Coleman, Vernon. Coming Apocalypse (pp. 33-36). Blue Books. Kindle Edition.

(Dr. Vernon was in rare form this day! --Edwin)

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Edwin's avatar

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE

"This book deals with the decision in the early spring of 2020 to put large populations under house arrest and to close factories, shops and all businesses not regarded as essential. It also deals with the aftermath of those decisions. The part dealing with the lockdowns is based entirely on fact. The part dealing with the future is, inevitably, largely conjecture. In order to publish this book I was informed that I had to remove all references to the name of the problem which triggered the close downs. And so you will not find herein any reference to a word describing a disease which begins with the third letter of the alphabet. Nor will you find any reference to a disease name which ends with a number which is slightly greater than 18 and slightly smaller than 20. In addition, in view of proposed new legislation which will make it illegal for anyone (including doctors) to share facts and opinions about a specific medical procedure, I have avoided using a word beginning with ‘v’ and used the word inoculation instead."

Coleman, Vernon. Coming Apocalypse (p. 11). Blue Books. Kindle Edition.

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