The End of Cricket

June 13, 2024 by Doctor Vernon Coleman

Something called the Independent Commission for Equity in Cricket (commissioned by the England and Wales Cricket Board in a mood of self-flagellation) caused a storm (and a good many headlines) by complaining that racism, sexism, classism and elitism are widespread in the game of cricket.

I’ve been following cricket all my life. I have spent a huge chunk of my life on cricket grounds. I’ve spoken to many cricketers. And I’ve been inside professional dressing rooms as a doctor. I’ve written four bestselling books on cricket (including The Village Cricket Tour and Thomas Winsden’s Cricketing Almanack) and I’ve written a column and articles for specialist cricket magazines. I’m a member of the MCC and I’ve been a member of several county clubs. And I believe the ICEC report will do far more harm than good.

But I wasn’t in the slightest surprised by its conclusions. The death of cricket has been on the cards for some time. After all, some of those involved with the dangerously fascist Great Reset, the climate change myth and the absurd re-wilding nonsense want to stop all sport because it takes up too much space and involves travel.

To me the ECB’s report stinks of woke gibberish.

Equity in cricket, for heaven’s sake. That’s a real ESG word.

The woman who was chairman of the committee is described has having experience in ‘governance, inclusion and equity’.

What a surprise.

A woman described as a senior independent director of the ECB said: ‘Promoting equity, diversity and inclusion across the game is critical to the success of our game-wide strategy Inspiring Generations and our purpose of connecting communities through cricket.’

Rishi Sunak, took time off from sending depleted uranium shells to Ukraine to get in touch with the ECB. He wants cricket to be inclusive and open to everybody. I actually rather thought it was. Even blind people play cricket.

I think they’ve all missed the point. (If I’m allowed to have a view on this – which I rather fear may not be the case these days.)

New rules about ‘equality, diversity and inclusion’ have replaced humanity, goodwill and kindness with statutory obligations, statutory whingeing and statutory recriminations. The rules about diversity, inclusion and equality are doing far more harm than good. You can’t regulate for kindness.

Cricket isn’t a social programme or an experiment in human resources.

Cricket is a game. Or I thought it was.

If people want to play they play. If they want to watch they watch. If people from some areas of society aren’t interested then that’s fine. There are plenty of other games they can play. Cricket doesn’t exist to change society and lead us into the Great Reset.

The report makes it look as if cricket had huge problems.

I don’t believe it does.

At least, I don’t think it did.

I think this report could create some very big problems and it is my belief it could do more harm than good.

They won’t agree with me, of course, but I fear this report will exacerbate suspicions, paranoia, resentment and entitlement and actually create racism.

If you look at tennis, rugby, football, gymnastics, chess, dominoes or synchronised swimming through the same distorting spectacles, you could claim they all have problems. There are far more black players in top level professional football than makes statistical sense. How many black tennis players are there in local tennis clubs? How many Muslim women are there involved in synchronised swimming? Enough? Not enough? Too many? Who decides?

The report says that there must be a ‘fundamental overhaul of the women’s pay structure in order to achieve parity with the men’s game’.

I’m terribly sorry, (and this really isn’t a sexist comment, it’s a realistic comment) but that is like saying that the members of the chorus in an opera should be paid the same as the lead tenor and soprano.

Look at the stands when women are playing. There are huge empty spaces.

If women are to be paid the same as men then the men will have to take a huge pay cut. There certainly isn’t enough money in the sport to pay men and women the same as the men currently receive.

The report says that Black cricket has not been adequately supported.

Black cricket?

I thought teams had black and white players together. Gordon Greenidge and Barry Richards were probably the greatest opening partnership in history. One was black and one was white.

Are we now going to have black teams and white teams?

The report says that ‘cricket needs to have a clear set of values’.

No it doesn’t need a set of artificially created values.

Cricket needs some laws. Which it has. And it needs players to play the game fairly and honourably. Which they mostly do. That’s where the phrase ‘it’s not cricket’ came from.

What on earth do they mean anyway?

The 317-page report says that costs are prohibitive. Really?

Have they looked at the costs of getting started in motor racing or horse jumping? Or skiing? Or yachting?

Do they want taxpayers to provide every child with a free bat and ball?

Kids who want to play cricket need an old tennis ball, a piece of wood and a lamp-post on which to chalk the wickets. And someone to play with.

And look at this quote from Ben Stokes, the England cricket captain, made after the absurd and damaging report was made public: ‘I am Ben Stokes, born in New Zealand, a state-educated pupil who dropped out of school at 16 with one GCSE in PE. I needed help with the spelling and grammar in this speech and I am sitting here as the England men’s Test captain.’

Elitism?

Where is the elitism?

The truth about cricket is that most of the people who play it and watch it are rather decent. They don’t play or watch to change society. They play or watch because it’s fun. They enjoy it. And the last thing most people think about is skin colour.

It isn’t the fault of cricket that the money grubbers sold the TV rights to a satellite TV company – thereby ensuring that kids don’t watch it and aren’t interested in playing.

It isn’t the fault of cricket that local authority schools don’t play much cricket. That’s because local councils sold off the playing fields to developers.

There’s sexism, racism and old-fashioned snobbery in all corners of life.

But cricket isn’t any worse than anywhere else though I admit there isn’t a Test series for transgender cricketers and there obviously should be.

This accusatory and adversarial report commissioned by the ECB seems to me to be full of modern ‘Great Reset’ language: intersectionality and cisgender make an appearance, of course.

The report apparently criticises the fact that some who watch cricket don’t like drums being played all day long. Well if I watch cricket I rather like it to be a peaceful activity. Is that now a race crime? Drums and impromptu bands and noisy behaviour should be banned. May I say that, please?

And the report criticises the huge number of cricket followers who dislike the Hundred – which is a daft form of biff bat cricket rather too similar to French cricket for my tastes. I want the Hundred (which is, I believe, destroying county cricket) to be forgotten about. Am I allowed to say that?

Are we now to be told what sort of cricket we can enjoy?

Oh, and the report talks about ‘Type K’ individuals.

‘Type K’ people are, apparently ‘white men, educated in private schools, who are straight and cisgender and do not have a disability’.

I would like to think that this utterly awful report will go straight into the bin. And the ECB which commissioned the report should also go in the bin.

But I fear that ‘action’ will be taken and the death of cricket will get ever closer. Cricket has been painfully woke for some years now. The annual Wisden seems to me to have become woke. And I rather fear the MCC is pretty woke too.

And, thanks to this report, I suspect that things are now going to get much worse.

The overall plan, espoused by the climate change enthusiasts, is to stop all sport – both amateur and professional – because it takes up land which they believe should be used for re-wilding and because it involves travel.

Taken from `Their Terrifying Plan’ by Vernon Coleman

NOTE
Vernon Coleman has written four books about cricket. All are available via the bookshop on www.vernoncoleman.com

The following books are listed under Miscellaneous Books in the shop:
Thomas Winsden’s Cricketing Almanack
Diary of a Cricket Lover
The following books are listed under Novels in the shop:
Village Cricket Tour
Around the Wicket