It takes, on average, just 30 seconds to buy a car park ticket with cash. It takes, on average, 29 minutes to buy a car park ticket with a credit card and 57 minutes, on average, to buy a car park ticket with an App. (I know this because I have timed the idiots who buy car park tickets with credit cards or Apps.) The unavoidable conclusion is that the world would be happier and far more productive place if all those people parking cars had to purchase tickets with cash.
Mozart wrote his first symphony at 8. William Pitt the younger was PM of England at 24. Alexander the Great conquered Greece and India and created great empire at the age of 18. Augustus Caesar was a Roman senator at 20. Joan of Arc was 17 when she had a commanding role in French army. Blaise Pascal was 19 when he developed his calculator. Mary Shelley was 20 when she published Frankenstein. Galusha Pennypacker was a brigadier general at 20. Lawrence Bragg won a Nobel prize at 25. Malala Yousafzai got a Nobel Prize at 17. And at some time in the next 12 months I hope to be able to play a recognisable tune on my harmonica. All examples of achievement at a young age.
There is enough coal on earth to last us 2,000 years. Coal is cleaner and better for the environment than burning wood pellets. Bring back coal!
It is difficult to think of a post-World War II American President who was not a fully-fledged war criminal.
People’s health is worse in the UK than anywhere in the developed world. I’m not surprised. The medical and nursing professions should stop making excuses and start taking responsibility.
UK taxpayers have so far given £4.6 billion in military aid (including depleted uranium shells) to Ukraine. Add to that several billion pounds in other types of aid and in providing food and homes for Ukrainians who left. This makes the UK taxpayer the second biggest supporter of Ukraine (after the US). So, now Britain is heading for the bankruptcy courts and Sunak, the grinning idiot in No 10 who is responsible for sending the depleted uranium shells, is heading for The Hague as a war criminal.
I am delighted to hear that the presumptuous and hubristic Prince William, well known hypocrite and climate change nutter, says he is going to end homelessness in Britain. He is presumably going to turn some of the many palaces and massive country homes owned by the royal family into flats and bedsit apartments. That would probably do it. Or he could ask his Dad to stop accepting the best part of £100 million a year of taxpayers’ money, so that those funds can be used to help the homeless. Or maybe he is going to get a job so that he can become a taxpayer. Or maybe his plan is simpler than all that. Maybe he and his pal Klaus Schwab are just going to kill all the homeless with their Great Reset. Problem solved!
Silvio Berlusconi, who died recently, didn’t enter politics until he was 57-years-old. He then formed his own political party and within three months he was in power. How wonderful. If I start a political party I could, if all goes according to plan, be in No 10 Downing Street before Christmas, ordering new wallpaper and checking to see what goodies the Sunaks have left in the fridge.
I receive scores of fake emails every day telling me that a parcel is waiting for me or that I have won some sort of prize. My favourite emails, however, are the ones (which come daily) telling me that someone has tried to do something to my Facebook page. I have, as you know, never been allowed to have a Facebook page. And for the record I am also banned by all other social media companies so if you see anything in my name on Facebook, Telegram, Twitter or wherever it is then it is fake.
If you haven’t been censored or de-platformed you haven’t said anything worth listening to.
Women with breast cancer shouldn’t drink tap water. It contains hormones which can, in some cases, adversely affect their health.
Racists are still trying to introduce red squirrels into parts of England. They want farmers and landowners to trap grey squirrels (which they don’t think are as pretty as the red squirrels) and give them to restaurants to be cooked. This is pure racism.
I think the BBC needs a new motto for its changing role in society. I suggest ‘Misinformation regit ok’ which is Latin for ‘Misinformation Rules OK’. They should have the motto carved over the entrances to all BBC buildings. And they need a new statue in the lobby. Might I suggest a life size statue of Martin Bashir would be appropriate?
Politicians and electricity companies promote smart meters as helping customers control their expenditure on electricity. There is much pressure on consumers to have smart meters installed, and cheap tariff electricity is sometimes only available to those who have agreed to have such a meter installed in their home. However, it was always clear that smart meters could be used by electric companies to control their customers’ use of electricity and in the autumn of 2022, when it was mooted that there might be power cuts in the winter, it became clear that smart meters would be used to cut off customers from their electricity supply. It was also revealed that electricity companies were using smart meters to force customers onto pre-paid meters. If you have a smart meter in your home (and for years now I’ve been telling you that you shouldn’t have one of these) your energy firm can remotely swap you onto a prepay meter. They can do this without your permission. Buying electricity through a prepay meter is more expensive than buying it the more usual way. It seems clear that smart meters will soon be introduced for other essential supplies such as water. Don’t let them install one!
There is a widespread feeling that because the lockdowns caused pain, chaos, distress and much illness, the evil ones won’t ever bring them back. But that, I fear, is to underestimate the nature of the war we are fighting. The more they know how much damage the lockdowns did the more desperate they will be to bring them back.
I’m waiting for someone to announce that a special committee set up by the United Nations has decided that all the world’s problems have been caused by climate change and Brexit and that anyone who voted for Brexit must now be punished.
Road signs in England no longer contain distances in miles as they used to do. I suspect that this is because the civil servants responsible for road signs are certain that we will go back into the EU and they can put distances in kilometres on all future signs.
Signs in all public buildings warn customers that staff must not be abused in any way. Fair enough. But staff in some places are now so touchy, temperamental and easily offended that if you ask them a civil question they sulk, fly into an inappropriate temper and have you thrown out of the building.
Now that covid is officially no longer a threat, the EU’s covid certificate (which proves only that the holder is a half-wit in need of parental care and attention) is being taken over by the WHO and the United Nations and is part of the WHOs Global Digital Health Certificate Network. It’s another giant step towards the Great Reset, a digital world and a World Government.
The big banks are making a fortune out of the war in Ukraine. And if and when the re-building starts, American companies will make a fortune out of that too. By the end of the war (if there is ever an end) America will own Ukraine lock, stock and barrel.
Big, tough Australian cricketers complained they were treated disrespectfully by MCC members in the pavilion after a controversial run-out helped them win a Test Match. Oh, how woke and wimpy the Aussies have become. Diddums nasty old men say nasty things to the poor little cricketer persons? Naturally, someone from the MCC apologised. I am ashamed to be a member. Not because members shared their views but because someone apologised to the wimps. Not on my behalf, sunshine.
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The world has gone mad!
Report Condemning Cricket is Over-Woke and could Create Problems
4TH JULY 2023
Something called the Independent Commission for Equity in Cricket (commissioned by the England and Wales Cricket Board in a mood of self-flagellation) has caused a storm (and a good many headlines) by complaining that racism, sexism, classism and elitism are widespread in the game of cricket.
I’ve been following cricket all my life. I have spent a huge chunk of my life on cricket grounds. I’ve spoken to many cricketers. And I’ve been inside professional dressing rooms as a doctor. I’ve written four books on cricket (including The Village Cricket Tour and Thomas Winsden’s Cricketing Almanack) and I’ve written articles for specialist cricket magazines. So, here is the Vernon Coleman Report on the ICEC Report; a report which I suspect I could have written two years ago when they started.
And I believe the ICEC report will do far more harm than good.
But I wasn’t in the slightest surprised by its conclusions. The death of cricket has been on the cards for some time. After all, some of those involved with the dangerously fascist Great Reset, the climate change myth and the absurd re-wilding nonsense want to stop all sport because it takes up too much space and involves travel.
To me the ECB’s report stinks of woke gibberish.
Equity in cricket, for heaven’s sake. That’s a real ESG word.
The woman who was chairman of the committee is described as having experience in ‘governance, inclusion and equity’.
What a surprise.
A woman described as a senior independent director of the ECB said: ‘Promoting equity, diversity and inclusion across the game is critical to the success of our game-wide strategy Inspiring Generations and our purpose of connecting communities through cricket.’
Rishi Sunak, a well-known war criminal, took time off from sending depleted uranium shells to Ukraine to get in touch with the ECB. He wants cricket to be inclusive and open to everybody. I actually rather thought it was. Even blind people play cricket.
I think they’ve all missed the point. (If I’m allowed to have a view on this – which I rather fear may not be the case these days.)
Cricket isn’t a social programme or an experiment in human resources.
Cricket is a game. Or I thought it was.
If people want to play they play. If they want to watch they watch. If people from some areas of society aren’t interested then that’s fine. There are plenty of other games they can play. Cricket doesn’t exist to change society and lead us into the Great Reset.
The report makes it look as if cricket had huge problems.
I don’t believe it does.
At least, I don’t think it did.
I think this report could create some very big problems and it is my belief it could do more harm than good.
They won’t agree with me, of course, but I fear this report will exacerbate suspicions, paranoia, resentment and entitlement and actually create racism.
If you look at tennis, rugby, football, gymnastics, chess, dominoes or synchronised swimming through the same distorting spectacles you could claim they all have problems. There are far more black players in top level professional football than makes statistical sense. How many black tennis players are there in local tennis clubs? How many Muslim women are there involved in synchronised swimming? Enough? Not enough? Too many? Who decides?
The report says that there must be a `fundamental overhaul of the women’s pay structure in order to achieve parity with the men’s game’.
I’m terribly sorry, (and this really isn’t a sexist comment, it’s a realistic comment) but that is like saying that the members of the chorus in an opera should be paid the same as the lead tenor and soprano.
Look at the stands when women are playing. There are huge empty spaces.
If women are to be paid the same as men then the men will have to take a huge pay cut. There certainly isn’t enough money in the sport to pay women the same as the men currently receive.
The report says that Black cricket has not been adequately supported.
Black cricket?
I thought teams had black and white players together. Gordon Greenidge and Barry Richards were probably the greatest opening partnership in history. One was black and one was white.
Are we now going to have black teams and white teams?
The report says that ‘cricket need to have a clear set of values’.
No it doesn’t need a set of artificially created values.
Cricket needs some laws. Which it has. And it needs players to play the game fairly and honourably. Which they mostly do. That’s where the phrase `it’s not cricket’ came from.
What on earth do they mean anyway?
The 317-page report says that costs are prohibitive.
Really?
Have they looked at the costs of getting started in motor racing or horse jumping? Or skiing? Or yachting?
Do they want taxpayers to provide every child with a free bat and ball?
Kids who want to play cricket need an old tennis ball, a piece of wood and a lamp-post on which to chalk the wickets. And someone to play with.
And look at this quote from Ben Stokes, the England cricket captain, made after the absurd and damaging report was made public: ‘I am Ben Stokes, born in New Zealand, a state-educated pupil who dropped out of school at 16 with one GCSE in PE. I needed help with the spelling and grammar in this speech and I am sitting here as the England men’s Test captain.’
Elitism?
Where is the elitism?
The truth about cricket is that most of the people who play it and watch it are rather decent. They don’t play or watch to change society. They play or watch because it’s fun. They enjoy it. And the last thing most people think about is skin colour.
It isn’t the fault of cricket that the money grubbers sold the TV rights to a satellite TV company – thereby ensuring that kids don’t watch it and aren’t interested in playing.
It isn’t the fault of cricket that local authority schools don’t play much cricket. That’s because local councils sold off the playing fields to developers.
There’s sexism, racism and old-fashioned snobbery in all corners of life.
But cricket isn’t any worse than anywhere else though I admit there isn’t a Test series for transgender cricketers and there obviously should be.
And let us remember that half a century ago, South Africa was exiled from international cricket because the South Africans wouldn't accept Basil d'Olivera as a Test team tourist. Cricket led the way in this fight, at considerable cost. And it was white, middle aged men who were largely responsible for fighting apartheid.
This accusatory and adversarial report commissioned by the ECB seems to me to be full of modern `Great Reset’ language: intersectionality’ and cisgender make an appearance, of course.
The report apparently criticises the fact that some who watch cricket don’t like drums being played all day long. Well if I watch cricket I rather like it to be a peaceful activity. Is that now a race crime? Drums and impromptu bands and noisy behaviour should be banned. May I say that, please?
And the report criticises the huge number of cricket followers who dislike the Hundred – which is a daft form of biff bat cricket rather too similar to French cricket for my tastes. I want the Hundred (which is, I believe, destroying county cricket) to be forgotten about. Am I allowed to say that?
Are we now to be told what sort of cricket we can enjoy?
Oh, and the report talks about `Type K’ individuals.
‘Type K’ people are, apparently ‘white men, educated in private schools, who are straight and cisgender and do not have a disability’.
They obviously all need shooting for daring to be white, educated privately, straight, cisgender (whatever the hell that is) and untroubled by any visible disability.
I would like to think that this utterly awful report will go straight into the bin. And the ECB which commissioned the report should also go in the bin.
But they won’t.
I fear that ‘action’ will be taken and the death of cricket will get ever closer.
Cricket has been painfully woke for some years now. The annual Wisden seems to have become woke. And I think the MCC is pretty woke too.
And things are now going to get much worse.
Meanwhile, no one is much interested in the real racism in Britain.
In my view the group most affected by racial discrimination in Britain are not black or Asian. They are white men.
Just take a look at the RAF.
The RAF head recently admitted that the RAF has discriminated against white men.
In other words the white men had suffered because they had white skin.
Isn’t that racism?
Or is it only racism if non-white people are the victims?