Lefty NPCs Will Be the Death of Us All

July 12, 2024 by J.B.Shurk

There is a political cartoon that shows a gray, genderless non-player character asking a real man, “Who radicalized you?”  The man leans forward and whispers to the lefty NPC, “You did.”  It is a brilliantly succinct depiction of our historical moment.

Right now the NPC news media is pretending that it just discovered Joe Biden’s raging dementia when his brain crashed during the president-ish debate.  Literally right up to the beginning of that June 27 public revealing of the emperor’s neurological nakedness, the most respected, well-paid, and credentialed reporters in the land were lampooning conservatives who questioned Slow-Joe’s mental faculties and labeling authenticated videos of his dimwittedness, “cheap fakes.”  

The day after Biden’s debate debacle, the same lefty NPC pundits were so “shocked” by Dementia Joe’s rambling performance that they immediately called for the anti-democratic Democrat Party to find his replacement.  Savvy conservatives had been predicting this scenario for years.  Why should Democrat Party bosses risk an open primary that might see the elevation of someone not under their complete control when they can just as easily ignore the will of primary voters, anoint Decrepit Joe, and swap him out with their handpicked successor during August’s nominating convention?

Whether the Biden Crime Family will permit this “swap” is another question.  If a sternly-worded letter delivered to congressional Dim-Dems on Monday means anything, Jill, Hunter, Ashley, and the other freeloading members of the Biden Clan have no intention of losing their quid-pro-quo meal ticket asleep in the White House.  Perhaps this means that the Dem-controlled Deep State will start acknowledging Biden’s half-century of political graft and unseemly interactions with women and children in an effort to bring him down more forcefully.  Or perhaps the NPC lefties now calling for his resignation will magically revert to their prior programming and begin praising Dodo Joe-Joe as the smartest, most energetic, most capable leader they have ever known.  The next few days will tell.

However the NPC Brigade decide to spin Joe’s future, their lies look desperate.  MS-DNC’s Lawrence O’Donnell wants Biden’s staff on stage at the next debate to help him answer questions and even answer questions themselves.  I know Zoomers are bringing their parents to job interviews these days, but that doesn’t mean would-be presidents should follow suit.  Big boys who want big jobs shouldn’t have to borrow other people’s brains.  

Likewise, the Huff and Puff Post is calling for “Weekend at Joe Biden’s” campaign team to release AI-manipulated videos that falsely portray the president-in-name-only as more nimble, youthful, artful, and intelligent than he actually is.  Amazing!  For years, the NPC media has dishonestly claimed that every real Dementia Joe video is fake; now the NPC media wants to make fake videos and call them real.  When unethical “journalists” justify outright fraud in pursuit of Democrat “victory,” it’s no wonder why a majority of Americans remain convinced that mail-in-ballot fraud handed Biden the White House in 2020.  As proto-trillionaire Elon Musk continues to warn Americans these days, our NPC rulers “want to cheat.”  Actually, they have to cheat; otherwise, it’s game over for the non-player characters.

For those keeping score at home, the NPC Squad’s batting average is buried in a deep grave underneath an already deep basement.  Let’s review a few of their biggest whiffs over the past few years.  First, imagine one of those grey, genderless NPC faces scowling at you.  Now listen to their lies:  

“COVID came from a wet market.”  Uh, nope.  “We must protect grandparents by closing schools.”  Doh!  “Closing small businesses will save them.”  Derp.  “Stand six feet apart, or you’ll probably die.”  Wait a second.  “Put this mask on; better yet, take three.”  That doesn’t make any sense.  “Shoot up with this experimental gene therapy; it’s safe.”  Are you sure?  “Yeah, once injected, you won’t get COVID.”  We still got COVID.  “What we meant was, you won’t transmit COVID.”  We still gave it to everybody.  “But you would have been a lot sicker without it.”  How do you know…?  “Just trust us, okay; we’re experts.”  

Why is Joe Biden threatening our jobs if we choose to use ivermectin?  “Because he’s a genius who wants to keep America safe.”  You mean that guy who just read, “Now YOU take YOUR seat,” from his notecards before introducing his wife as the president?  “He has a stutter.”  Does it make him forget who he is?  “He’s just jet-lagged.”  After vacationing at Camp David for a week?  “He has a cold.”  You mean, like COVID?  Isn’t that impossible?  “Fine, you’re right, Joe Biden’s brain is mush, and we must immediately replace him with Hillary.”  Whoa now, NPC, let’s not jump to conclusions here.  It’s probably just a stutter.  We believe you.  

Oh, the NPC factory is a terribly depressing place.  Can you imagine what it’s like to possess such a minuscule mind that you have to outsource your critical thinking skills to a third party?  You don’t have to imagine!  That’s why we have Rob Reiner — so that we can check in on his brain-dead Tweets!  After telling us for years that Joe Biden is the most intelligent president the United States has ever had, he now wants Addled Joe to drop out of the race before it’s too late.  What changed?  Too many Americans saw the real Joe Biden malfunctioning on TV!  Now NPC Reiner insists, “It’s time to stop f------ around.  If the Convicted Felon wins, we lose our Democracy.  Joe Biden has effectively served US with honor, decency, and dignity.  It’s time for Joe Biden to step down.”  Meathead has a potty mouth, but he speaks really good NPC! 

Luckily, rocker Cherie Currie dropped this “cherry bomb” on NPC Reiner: 

Are you smoking somethin’?  Decency?  Cocaine found in the White House.  Gay porn taped in the Capital.  Topless Transgenders with their naked breasts on the WH lawn.  Unprecedented Illegal immigration leading to human and child trafficking with over 100,000 missing minors.  Fentanyl killing more Americans than ever in history.  Record homelessness.  Record crime.  Poverty heading to a Great Depression.  There hasn’t been decency in 3 1/2 years.

Oof, the Queen of Noise doesn’t pull her punches when Messin’ with the NPC Boys!  Rock on!  Unfortunately, Cherie Currie is too much of an independent thinker for the NPC Crowd to understand.  To speak NPC, you must communicate like a person who believes she is brilliant even after a botched lobotomy.  Whoopi Goldberg (née Caryn Elaine Johnson) knows how.  She says she’d vote for Biden even if he “pooped his pants.”  Can’t argue with that logic.  When you’d rather go with the guy who soils himself on live television than recognize that Incontinent Joe isn’t president of anything other than the stinky town of Poopyville, then you’re admitting that your brain’s software runs on an old buggy bootleg copy of standard NPC.  On the bright side, should Whoopi get her way, other world leaders might insist that the U.S. pursue a more isolationist foreign policy, if only to give President Poopy-Pants the space those with noses need.

As radio host and political prognosticator Larry O’Connor points out, Biden’s White House handlers actually “make him cue cards with pictures of his podium so he knows where to walk and where to stand.  And he still screws that up.”  Americans don’t necessarily need a Mensa member to represent their interests, but it would be nice if their president had an IQ higher than a wooden table.

At least we have Vice President Harris.  When that lady talks about the “significance of the passage of time,” she sounds like a savant!

Uff da.  At this rate, lefty NPCs will surely be the death of us all.

Hat tip to Dr. Ben Carson.