KDJ's Bourbon-Inspired Predictions for 2025: Buckle up, Islam

January 4, 2025 by Kevin Downey Jr.

I thought I'd write down some predictions for 2025. I wasn't sure if I did this kind of story last year, so I checked, and wham-o, yes I did!

Bourbon? Moi? No wonder I couldn't remember.

Before I consider potentially humiliating myself with insane predictions, as I did during the 2022 mid-term elections, let's see how accurate I was at this time last year.

Reading my predictions for the 2022 mid-terms leaves me wondering if I was riding a manic episode during a scorching case of bipolar that I have yet to be diagnosed with.

The "bourbon-inspired" predictions are every bit as accurate as Sister Rita-Mary's eraser-throwing arm as I learned at Saints Peter and Paul Elementary School in Detroit when I was experiencing what would later be called petit mal seizures.

Check it out:

1. Biden will bail after the Democratic National Convention and won't run for another term.

Gropey Joe will find a health-related reason to step down. Possible medical excuses will include the inability to stop soiling himself. Yes, he will pardon his crackhead progeny on the way out.

The DNC will then pick someone new. Not Kamala; she will be promised a spot on the Supreme Court. Look for Gov. "Stretchin'" Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich.) and/or that lizard boy Gavin Newsom (D-Calif.).

Not too shabby! My timing on Biden's bail-out was off, I KNEW Hunter would get a pardon, but I didn't see the Democrats being dumb enough to run Kamala.

2. There will be an attempt on Trump's life. Many more if he wins.

Expect a "lone wolf," Lee Harvey Oswald-type (who, BTW, totally wasn't helped by the CIA — wink, wink), perhaps a "rogue" Secret Service guy.

Sha-ZAM! Hey, we still haven't heard about the shooter's three "encrypted overseas" messaging apps, and he wasn't a rogue USSS agent, but he did practice at a range used by federal agents.

3. I will not lose the 15 pounds I claim I will.

I lost some weight but gained most of it back.

4. The Democrats will cheat in 2024.

Did the Republicans win any of those House seat races in California that took weeks to count? 'Nuff said.

Predictions #5 and #6 were about what would happen if Trump lost the election, so I won't post them.

7. If Trump wins, the real street violence will begin.

5... 4... 3...

Need more proof of my mad auspication skillz?

Also Related: The Top Five Excuses Democrats Will Use When They Get Annihilated on Election Day

SOOTHSAYER-O-RAMA! One thing is clear, sober KDJ should shut up, but tipsy KDJ is a living, breathing crystal ball!

So what do I vaticinate for 2025? More importantly, do I do this alone or wait and ask advice from my friend, Col. E.H. Taylor, Jr.?

It's almost noon. I can't crack open the bourbon this early, and I clearly need it if I am to be accurate. Sorry, I'm going to have to wait until, as my grandmother would say "Bar's open" before sending me to mix her first of many highballs of the day.

FACT-O-RAMA! My grandmother's "bar" opened every day at noon... tick-tick-tick-tick... Let's do this!

Prediction 1: The pardons have just begun.

Joe Biden will pass "stay-out-of-jail-free" cards out like a blackjack dealer with a nose full of disco dust.

I expect him to pardon no fewer than three more people named Biden.

"Doctor" Fauci, FBI Director Christopher Wray, Merrick Garland, and most of all, America's public enemy #1, Alejandro Mayorkas, are some of the most egregious bog hogs who could suckle on Biden's teat of forgiveness.

QUAG-O-RAMA! Mr. Wray may not have to worry. Disgraced, anti-American FBI bigshot Andrew McCabe spent years spewing the "Russia, Russia, Russia" lie for years in an attempt to remove our duly elected president from office. He was fired but sued and won everything he had lost, (backpay, etc.). He also snagged a $500,000 book deal as well as another half million from a GoFundMe account. The Swamp protects and rewards itself.

I also suspect a tumulus of not-so-famous D.C. swamp wigglers are back-dooring their way to Pardonville now, sucking up to Jill as Joe takes his big boy nap. Expect life-long uniparty hangers-on to have their hands out and get multi-year exonerations before Big Daddy Trump unburdens the White House from what has been.

Prediction 2: An all-front war against Trump and MAGA.

Joe Biden is already burning down the farm — and burying some land mines — before Trump takes back the Big House. Some of Biden's moves will cause headaches for Trump, and the Operation Mockingbird Media morons are planning to blame Trump for Biden's codswallop, like banning offshore drilling in a way that Trump may not be able to reverse. Watch the remains of CNN and MSNBC attack Trump for not immediately lowering gas prices.

The Pravda Press, the Swamp, the courts, and every other Marxist-dominated institution will rise to what may be the final battle.

The Deep State and Trump are fighting for their lives. Communists do not just pack up and go home when things aren't going their way. Expect the real battle to be fought in the next two years. If the Republicans can keep the House in 2026, the war will continue. If not, Trump could be impeached, convicted, and possibly jailed.

As I write this, Judge Juan Merchan claims that Trump will not go to jail unless he is arrested again. Expect him to be arrested again.

I can smell a bird flu "pandemic" in the near future.

The communists will try to stir up all sorts of pandemonium. Keep an eye on the DOJ and the FBI. "Crossfire Hurricane" may have been a mere appetizer compared to what the Deep State has up its sleeves.

The Bolsheviks have only one playbook. Expect them to stick to it, and watch as it all becomes laughable.

Prediction 3: MAGA wins bigly.

This one is already begging to show through. Trump's historic Election Day win showed us that We the People — or at least enough of us — no longer trust the mainstream media.

Communist bootlickers like Joy Reid can no longer point their fingers through the TV at Trump and his MAGA crew while yelling "racist" without looking like the numpties we've long known them to be.

Trump swung most of the nation's counties and a record number of black voters to the right. The days of pretending Trump is a racist boogeyman are over.

Prediction 4. Your Aunt Gladys will never stop voting for Democrats (even after she dies).

Some people just can't be saved.

That said, more and more people will stop being afraid of being called a "transphobe" if they oppose a confused young man in pigtails spiking a volleyball into their daughter's face.

TIPPING POINT-O-RAMA! Courage is contagious, so never be afraid to lead the way.

Americans are beginning to realize that DEI is nothing more than a sinister subterfuge by Marxists to implant talent-free, easily controlled "useful idiots" into positions of power that they could never achieve on their own, at which point the low-level pinkos will do what they are told.

The most important lesson people are learning is this: "white supremacy" isn't the existential threat Biden claimed it is, and Islam is not the religion of peace that George Bush said it was.

The globalists spent decades telling Westerners that we are "Islamophobic" if we question why Muslim wackos keep killing us. We were indoctrinated to remain quiet as Islam, which I believe is a big partner in the New World Order, spread throughout the planet and began raping and/or slaughtering people they hate, all while screaming "Islamophobia!"

Hamas' grotesque October 7 attack on Israel showed the world what Islam is really about.

We now see that those who excuse Islamic violence are not well-meaning social justice warriors but are complicit in the attempted take-down of the Western world.

SAVAGE-O-RAMA! As our own Lincoln Brown recently reported, a 13-year-old UK girl was arrested for public drunkenness, but the seven Pakistani "men" with her were not.

This is difficult to read. Also, this isn't from 10 years ago; it's recent.

Lincoln wrote:

The clip below is hard to digest and almost impossible to fathom, but it shows just how far a nation can fall when it becomes tangled in the coils of DEI and blind leftist ideology:

Yes, you heard that right. The police arrested the girl for drinking. But not one cop on the scene thought to even question how a drunk, naked teenage girl happened to be in the company of seven adult males? Nothing about that seemed suspicious to the officers?

The report above is only just now coming to light, and not only is it horrifying, but it almost seems too awful to believe. But this is only the latest in a long trail of violations of girls in the UK by rape gangs. In February of last year, the BBC ran a report about a girl In Rochdale who estimated that she was raped over 100 times since she was 12.

Lefty ideology is nothing more than the latest attempt by Marxist toilet-dwellers to enslave the world. Please forward this article to your "normie" friends who think "both political parties suck" and choose to remain neutral.

Trump's reelection isn't the end of our problems; it's merely the ability to begin the fight to save us from communism.

Do you have any predictions? Post them in the comments section below and let the fun begin!

Kevin Downey Jr. Is a comedian, columnist, and radio show host. When he isn't writing or performing, he is collecting surf records and practicing his mixologist skills at his tiki bar. His apartment—the Atomic Bunker—looks like it was furnished from George Jetson's garage sale. You can hear KDJ crush the commies and punish the pedos on "The Kevin Downey, Jr. Show" every Monday-Friday from 10-11 am at LINEWSRADIO.com.